Fifty Shades of Irish Grey

As always the Irish have found the funny side of something. Here’s a few classics from the Irish take on Fifty Shades of Grey:

Give it to me, give it to me’, he roared aggressively. Some days Mary hated working at Ulster Bank.

He slipped his hand under the red silk.. “You’re so beautiful in that dress.” “Feck off, it was only a euro in Penneys!”

Bríd’s knees were sore and her throat was raw…This was the longest Novena she’d ever attended.

You’re so tight, he said, I’m from Cavan she replied.

Slowly he ran his finger down the middle, parting the pink softness, feeling the moist sticky centre. He loved a Mikado.

‘She Quivered as I stroked her thighs. ‘Take me in the shower Sean!’ I whispered to her ‘Wait til I turn on the immersion’

‘Her underwear was wet as he pulled the rope. There’s great drying out today she thought as the clothes line hoisted’

 She wrapped her fingers around it and greedily pulled it towards her lips.20 bottles for 15 quid at Centra Mick! Bargain!

'its so long!Never seen the likes of it!' exclaimed maire, as she joined the dole queue

She widened her mouth, trying to fit it all in!! Juices ran down her face. Mary  did love a kebab after coppers

She was panting as she let out one final scream of pure pleasure. There was nothing like beating Kilkenny in the hurling

She took a deep breath as the shivers rolled down her hot body... Jaysus, she thought. The vicks is kicking in now!

Come on! Pump it hard.. Real hard! But it was no use the tyre was definitely punctured!

He asked if she could handle more than one finger. She said she preferred Hob Nobs or a purple Schnack with her tea

'Spread 'em', he said gruffly. Margie looked dolefully at the bags of fertilizer destined for the back field.

So True!

I have to say that I have had quite a few of these lately!

Steven Martin

Ok, we all love Steve Martin,

Yes, he can be a little coukey sometimes

But I have to be honest and say

I didn’t realise he was more than a comic actor! (hanging my head in shame)

Much to my surprise he is also an author, playwright, producer, musician and composer as well!

Therefore, I would just like to give an awed bow down to Steve,

And share with you some of my favourite quotes.

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”

“I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden.”

“Talking about music is like dancing about architecture.” 

“You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.” 

“Thankfully, persistence is a great substitute for talent.” 

“Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.”

Abbreviations

We all must be very careful when using abbreviations as the can be quite a Handful!

This was part of a form that was on my desk today in work to be worked through. 

I know it's Friday, but come on!

Mind you I think I might like to meet an Ass Manager! 

Wonder what their job entails???

Could I apply?

Life

Forest Gump said that "Life is like a Box of Chocolates....."

Well sorry to disappoint, but it's not!

I LIKE Chocolates!

I hate being sick :(

Quote of the Day - Cat Grant - Once a Marine

I know this is a little of of charactor for the Quote of the Day but when I read this I had to share.

I am currently reading Cat Grants - Once a Marine

I only started reading this today so I'm only about a third of the way through but have came across one of the funniest lines I have read in a while and thought I should share it with you all.

This is the MC describing sex with the other MC the Marine:

"He had the most amazing stamina of any guy I'd ever been with. It was like being fucked by the love child of Superman and the Energizer Bunny."

I have to admit that it was not an simile I had never heard or even thought of before. But nonetheless quite interesting in and of itself. I can just imagine a fanfic of Superman and his life after having a family with the Energizer Bunny. There have been a couple of mpreg stories I have read with a pregnant bunny. Might be something to think about....

Quote of the Day

It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again. 

Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919) in speech entitled Citizenship in a Republic, delivered in Paris in 1910

Gay Man's First and Only Time With a Woman, Gabrielle Evans - The Moonlight Breed 1 - Leap of Faith

When I read this in Gabrielle Evans - The Moonlight Breed 1 - Leap of Faith, I swear I nearly fell off of the couch laughing.
This is an extract from Gabrielle Evan's Leap of Faith which can be purchased from: BookStrand.

Gabrielle, you are amazing, props on this excellent piece of writing!

“What about you, Braxton? Ever been with a girl?” Logan teased.
Talon and Boston stopped on their way out of the room and turned to hear his reply. Xander couldn’t blame them. Judging from his mate’s flaming red cheeks, and the way he had his head ducked, this was going to be good.
“Once,” Braxton mumbled.
“Spill it,” Jackson demanded, grabbing a kitchen chair and turning it backward to straddle it. He rested his chin on his folded hands over the back of the chair and stared at Braxton expectantly.
Braxton sighed. “Long story short, we got naked, and I couldn’t get it up. I panicked, and decided going down on her seemed like the best course of action. Obviously, I didn’t have a clue about what I was doing. It’s not like with guys, you know…not at all self-explanatory,” he stated indignantly. “Anyway, she seemed to be enjoying it until…” Braxton trailed off, looking sheepish.
“So, what happened?” Boston urged.
“I bit her. Just a little nip, ya know.”
Everyone just stared in shock before bursting into laughter. Xander tightened his arms around Braxton’s midsection in support, though he, too, was laughing.
“Yeah, it shocked her, too.” Braxton blushed again. “So much, in fact, she yelled, which scared the shit out of her cat that was hiding under the bed. The cat took off like a rocket, hissing and shrieking, which scared her. She jumped and kneed me in the face.” He rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Split my lip open, blood went everywhere. Completely accidental, of course, but the poor girl was so embarrassed, she ran into the bathroom and locked herself in. It took me close to an hour to talk her out.”