Sunday, August 5, 2012

Fifty Shades of Irish Grey


As always the Irish have found the funny side of something. Here’s a few classics from the Irish take on Fifty Shades of Grey:

Give it to me, give it to me’, he roared aggressively. Some days Mary hated working at Ulster Bank.


He slipped his hand under the red silk.. “You’re so beautiful in that dress.” “Feck off, it was only a euro in Penneys!”


BrĂ­d’s knees were sore and her throat was raw…This was the longest Novena she’d ever attended.


You’re so tight, he said, I’m from Cavan she replied.


Slowly he ran his finger down the middle, parting the pink softness, feeling the moist sticky centre. He loved a Mikado.


‘She Quivered as I stroked her thighs. ‘Take me in the shower Sean!’ I whispered to her ‘Wait til I turn on the immersion’


‘Her underwear was wet as he pulled the rope. There’s great drying out today she thought as the clothes line hoisted’


 She wrapped her fingers around it and greedily pulled it towards her lips.20 bottles for 15 quid at Centra Mick! Bargain!


'its so long!Never seen the likes of it!' exclaimed maire, as she joined the dole queue


She widened her mouth, trying to fit it all in!! Juices ran down her face. Mary  did love a kebab after coppers


She was panting as she let out one final scream of pure pleasure. There was nothing like beating Kilkenny in the hurling


She took a deep breath as the shivers rolled down her hot body... Jaysus, she thought. The vicks is kicking in now!


Come on! Pump it hard.. Real hard! But it was no use the tyre was definitely punctured!


He asked if she could handle more than one finger. She said she preferred Hob Nobs or a purple Schnack with her tea
'Spread 'em', he said gruffly. Margie looked dolefully at the bags of fertilizer destined for the back field.

So True!